Here are some stories of REAL, unexaggerated perfectionists in my life, and not only do they restrict themselves creatively, they try to IMPOSE their values on their less-perfectionist peers.
My friend—let’s call her Milly—invites me to bake with her. Milly wants to bake a cake, and her recipe asks for some vanilla essence. Her mom did the groceries for her and bought vanilla paste instead.
Milly: Recipe says ‘essence’, not ‘paste’.
Obviously this is an extreme case. And technically, paste is better than essence! I never follow a recipe rigidly when I’m baking or cooking. I always change some stuff up, and that’s why I failed so many times in baking the perfect choc chip cookie. But eventually, I knew which sugar works to create the consistency I like, and how much flour I should use to get a certain degree of crunchiness, and ingredients that are essential, like baking soda. I once thought baking soda was not important for the cookie because it was used in such a small amount, and boy was I wrong. There’s a reason why people use it even in a small amount. That day, my baking quest failed. Technically it didn’t fail, but it I didn’t liked the texture and softness of the cookies.
My mom is prettaaaay meticulous when it comes to folding clothes. If I fold a towel the wrong way, I’d get a scolding. If I stack my folded panties in different directions, I’d get a severe lecture. No joke. *shivers* Apparently if she folds your clothes you’re in luck, because you would have a perfect stack of clothes, but if she’s watching YOU fold YOUR clothes, you’d better be careful.
Me: I don’t really care how my wardrobe looks.
So if you’re a perfectionist, and you’re proud of it, I’m here to tell you that there is a difference between having high standards and being a perfectionist. High achievers make sure everything is done as perfectly as necessary to make something awesome. Perfectionists are rigid and narrow-minded to a fault, and sometimes it doesn’t result in anything but some anxiety and frustration. They fuss over every detail and sometimes even dismiss the bigger picture.
The perfectionists I know, as I described above, are scared of failure. Generally, perfectionists are all scared of failure, whether they know it or not. They would rather not do something new for fear of the risk of possibly failing. They don’t want to venture unfamiliar grounds because they know being a perfectionist doesn’t mean that you’re perfect at whatever you do.
Fear of failure is particularly dangerous because it lures you into a place called your comfort zone, and the worst part is you actually get COMFY in there as time passes, and it will be harder for you to WANT to leave. Without fully experiencing the sweetness and surprise and unpredictability of life, you are just existing on earth. Start living instead!
The Ultimate Way to Eliminate Fear of Failure
*you don’t need to be a perfectionist to be scared of failure
FUN FACT: Fear of failure can also be known as Atychiphobia.
Results of implementing this list in your daily life: You’ll be more confident. You’ll no longer fear the humiliation that comes with failing. You’ll learn a ton of new things.
Disclaimer: It takes time and action for you to see results. It’s tremendously uncomfortable at first, but that’s why we’re doing this. We gotta’ start somewhere. Your future self will thank you for starting now.
The more you fail, the more you crush your ego. If I didn’t convince you yet, here’s why failing is good for you. Think positive.
Remember that even if you’ve become an expert, you will still fail. True experts know failures push them beyond where they are. It might be difficult, annoying, frustrating, tiring and all to make the first step, but the more you persist, the more you’ll see how failure can be the most beautiful blessing of all.
Failure weeds out the weak people. Only the strong persist.
Share your "perfectionist" or "failure-phobia" experience with us! A fearless future awaits you at the door of your comfort zone!
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