I used to be one of the people who never say what they mean. If I want something, I say I don’t want it; when I don’t want to do something, I say “okay”; when people ask me a question, I say what I know they want to hear. One day I just decided that not being honest to myself is simply too tiring to waste my life on. I don’t want to do this shit anymore. I don’t want to willingly be bound by someone else’s leash anymore. I’m DONE. The saying is true: stubborn people only acknowledge their crisis when they reach their lowest, when they can no longer make up any excuses to justify their behavior. I made it my mission to—either in a pretty or frank way—express my honest thoughts, and because it was a mission instead of an obligation, I didn’t care if people criticize or disagree with me. Because it’s only natural that there will be people who will oppose me, but it’s a mission, so I can’t abort my mission to fulfill some … nagging human, can I? Mind you, I’m still open to suggestions and advice, which are completely different from imposing values on others.
Drinking a gallon(3.78541 liters) of water a day has many health benefits. Ulcers and pimples are practically non-existent in your life, and you pee as fast as you drink water. In this video I discuss what changed for me personally after drinking a gallon of water a day for a year:
You might feel bloated at first, so build your water consumption gradually, and eventually you'll be downing water as if you're a water tank. As the habit of drinking water sets in, your hands will unconsciously reach for your bottle every five minutes for a sip—a gallon will be no problem for you. Some afternoons, I look at my water bottle and think about when and how I almost finished 2 liters in half a day. This will be you when you start drinking a gallon of water a day, every day. It's gonna' be effortless, so don't be scared to start!
Bringing a big bottle with you might even be an awesome conversation starter. I cannot count the amount of people who've asked me, "Wow. You drink a bottle of that a day?" And I'd reply with a smile, "No. I drink TWO bottles a day." And then you'll see their face go WTF.
So? Have you decided on what color you want your new big bottle to be?
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Here are some stories of REAL, unexaggerated perfectionists in my life, and not only do they restrict themselves creatively, they try to IMPOSE their values on their less-perfectionist peers.
My friend—let’s call her Milly—invites me to bake with her. Milly wants to bake a cake, and her recipe asks for some vanilla essence. Her mom did the groceries for her and bought vanilla paste instead.
Nightmare of a Teacher
I grew up in a completely Asian country, and went to a completely Asian elementary and middle school. Here teachers reign, and I remember myself being pretty arrogant in kindergarten, but elementary school completely crushed my self esteem. I became this quiet girl of few words, and people/classmates would say they know my name but don’t know what my voice is like. Eventually, an illusioned inferiority complex and impostor syndrome pluck my roots out of the soil, and there they stay floated, turning me into an ever-wavering “fraud”.
I consider myself patient, quite calm, but there are times when even the most patient of people get angry. When you’re pissed, people always say stuff like “let it go” and “it won’t matter in a month so why would it matter now?”. For some people like myself, these suggestions are just not feasible. Of course I know I should let go; of course I know I should look at the big picture! But at this moment of infuriation, how does one expect me to even want to let go? At this point I’m just holding on to as much fury as I can, so that I can react upon it, so that I can unleash it upon the “villain”. Not all of us can be the Dalai Lama, and even the Dalai Lama admits it himself: he gets angry too, because he’s human too! It's exactly because it won’t matter in another few hours, a week, or even a month, that it matters now! Because you get irritated by the small things, that you have a chance to forgive and forget. Or is it just an excuse for people like me who can’t move on in a minute and who doesn’t have a heart of gold? “Your positive energy can be regenerated. You have infinite positivity in you. It doesn’t matter who sucks away your positive charge,” and whatnot, I hope I can achieve that kind of “enlightenment” one day soon, but now, I’m not at that monk-ish level. Yet.
I feel lost! In a slump! Comparing myself to others, unsure of myself, WHO AM I? A journey of self discovery.
The restless feeling of a breakdown
I recently had the biggest burnout of my life (up till now). I don’t know if it should be considered a burnout, but I know for sure it’s a huge, huge slump. I can definitely understand how people get depression attacks now. In fact, I believe the experience I went through is called an existential crisis, or existential depression. I felt stressed out and lost the motivation to do things, things like homework, draw, write, things I usually can't stop doing, things that I won't want to waste a second not doing … I even felt burdened when I talk to my friends! It’s like I was disconnected from the world. My mood turned rotten and no, I wasn’t on my period. This plagued me for a week, before it started to get so pressuring that I had to do something about it. To convey my condition in visual terms: I felt like my brain was tugged from all sides, even when I slept, it churned relentlessly. Something was poking at the back of my mind but wouldn’t show itself. And I didn’t understand myself enough to comprehend what that thing was! I felt it but I didn’t know what it was and how I need to get rid of it. I know that I had to get rid of it if I want to move on!
I'm no psychologist, but this one thing helped me to overcome my hesitation of socializing, and it may be the very thing you need to be more social in life. Notice I didn't say fear, but hesitation. There are things in life that you are afraid of doing, but do anyway. Networking is one of those things (at least for people who don't necessarily enjoy socializing).
Most if not all of us have experienced toxic relationships in one way or another. A lot of us blame it on the other party. We believe that they're the ones that have caused this relationship to deteriorate. However, this post is not entirely about toxic relationships. It's about overcoming fears and insecurities that will crumble one. I will share with you a case study/story that I had first hand experience in. This incident had a huge impact on my life and shrouded a phase of it in shadows. It took me quite some times (2 years) to accept things that has happened, and truly believe that this experience was crucial for my self-improvement. It has taught me to respect myself, fight for my rights, and face my fears.